Shortlisted in Ad Hoc Fiction

It’s a bit tricky in the big holidays cos boom the curtains go shiny all around the outside but guess what it’s not really getting up time it’s Too Goddamed Early. That means Stay In Your Room.

No problemo.

If you do come to my room, and you can if you want, you might think What A Mess. But everything is just right. It took me ages to work it all out. That is called an experiment so it’s science really.

If things go wrong and just as you are doing your mega jump off the pillow end of the bed you fall in the crusty bit of carpet with the black iron shape don’t worry. You can twizz round onto the pants pile then climb up onto the box with the broken tv so you are safe.  But don’t stomp or rattle or you are a Bloody Idiot.


Winner in Morgen Bailey Creative Writing Blog 100 words competition, click here to visit

I always knew I wasn’t worth much; not even a birthday each year.

Born shortly after midnight, I sometimes imagined my stern mother holding me in until the clocks chimed.

A leap year birth was in line with the family motto of “don’t make a fuss.”

Twenty (or is that five?) today. I have not told my colleagues. I live in disconnected safety.

I get to my desk and see an envelope. I hope nobody sees my flushed face and flicker of a smile. I open the card – ‘Happy Retirement, Ron’. I sign my name, with no fuss at all.